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Sunday, October 31, 2010 HELLO BOYS & GIRLS. I'VE MOVED TO xoxo Monday, October 25, 2010  The clock struck twelve, im officially twentytwo. To some, im a little old lady now, to others im just a little girl still. But i know myself best. Im a baby trying to grow up fast. & sometimes i try so hard i miss out on the little precious things along the way, only to regret & try to trace back my steps. someone told me today "think of how and what your going to do for the next one year, so the next year this day, on your birthday, when you look back again, you'll see yourself as a much better person and achieving or getting closer to your goals." i do have goals i wna achieve by next year of today, for the better or worse i do not know, but i do know something or perhaps everything about me would be different from now till when that day slowly arrives. i dont believe in ever being contented with myself & be satisfied with whatever we have cos we should always be improving & im still trying to find a space im comfortable in. & i just hope twenty two years of my life would eventually teach me to be more realistic & not to live in dramas & dreams. & to open my eyes wide and make the right choices in people. i hope my friends are reading this as well & do e same for yourself. happy birthday to me. xoxo Tuesday, October 12, 2010 each time i think im over you, reality will slap me real hard. the feeling of knowing nothing has ever changed & you still could hurt me the way you did.. it makes me feel real shitty. After so long, have i not learn to face the truth? Must i let a man affect my life, making me change myself bit by bit just so i could be the one i think he deemed perfect. im so screwed up. its lousy to feel weak for something that's not working out. Monday, October 4, 2010 i was deciding whether to give up my last available hours before bed on my blog, or on sex & the city & so, here i am. i think most of my friends knows how obsessed i am with american film series & its scaring me to the point that i dont really enjoy outings that much anymore cos i rather be home on bed watching my shows. its not about the couch potato thing, but rather im so envious of the make-believe life i feel myself wanting to have it so much im running away from reality & thinking their world is real. i wonder if theres an illness for that? it sounds rather silly now tt i've typed it out, but e feeling of wanting to escape from reality so much isnt exactly a joke. I've been looking for english cafes with victorian sofas and cozy settings which of cos, i found quite a few with e help of my sis whose also a lover of such. one sunny afternoon, along with my book, i spent a good few hours alone in one of these cafe, sipping on a hot tea & munching on grilled mushrooms. It really felt DAMN good but alot of people just dont get it, moments spent alone can be alot more enjoyable then hanging out in a group. Its Undisturbed Precious Moments. & then, when i was there, i was just thinking..when am i gna find a guy who share the same thoughts as me. i dont know how i always give out the wrong vibes. I used to party alot but im not exactly what you would call a Party girl or someone whose just looking for fun? im not into some gorgeous guy who would bring me to parties after parties, im looking for someone who would walk with me on the beach, chill with me at cafes, read books together & just enjoy each other company. it seems easy to find someone like this..but is it? & just so you know. i've given up on partying. i spend my weekends just chillin with my friends, tapas, wine and good company. seriously hope i would find someone on the same stand as me. its annoying, but i wont get attached till i find that impossible one. bah. which also means i probably be standing alone for a long long time. its even more annoying how i've typed so much and wasted precious time i could ve spent on my films. even even more annoying that i've typed so much & i bet alot of you still ve no idea how i feel. SIGH. it gets really exasperating sometimes. can't-live-without-each-other love." - Carrie Bradshaw some snaps from the past few weeks.      The crazy four fools at Highlanders.          & after i said so much.. actually, very fankly..i know im not ready for a new relationship. yup, even after two years. im just irritated at the fact that everyone else seems to be able find their other half so easily...or at least they think is their other half.. everyone except me!! WHAT IN THE WORLD IS WRONG WITH ME? i should be a nun! Friday, September 24, 2010 " I've been giving up on people too easily. If they dont call, if they dont try..then i dont. Its not fair to lay the blame on them when i'm not calling either. I'm just as much at fault. I've got a lot of resentment for old friends...for letting me go without a fight. I just want someone to call and say "i miss you, how are you?" i just wish to call someone and say " i miss you, i'm sorry." i want to be brave enough to stay in one place." "Sometimes when life goes downhill and things get crazy, it freaks us out a little and makes us feel like we’re losing grip on something that’s really important - a part of ourselves, our lives and that scares us even more, so we try really hard to hold on tight to whatever we think we’re losing and sometimes, we hold on a little too hard." Monday, September 20, 2010 My Childhood friend.  i've read this message from you only about a hundred times. never fail to make me smile. dont kill me for posting this up, cos i really wna share this sweetness with everyone. (:this is what she sent me one fine day... Whenever i'm attached i tend to drift away and i feel bad about it, constantly. But L was in army and an hour, minute and sec were priceless to us. Now that i've made one of the toughest decision and am still confused/shaken over it, i'm so glad i have you by my side. You weren't one of those who told me i was strong and left me to bleed. You were one who encouraged me, who asked me out every week so i would take my mind off things. Remember the time you left jy & i left j we both did alot of crazy shit. We went to thai pubs, gays pubs and when we're at clubs we would never leave till everyone left? Thinking back, you were also there more than anyone else did. Well, i just wna say you were the friend i never was. I truly appreciate your love, effort, concern and time. You are one of my closest, closest friend and i would never do anything to jeopardize our friendship. I know you yourself have been going through some rough period and if you need me, i'd definitely be here. You don't have to fret and think you'll be my burden or that you're alone. Because you have me. I will be there this time onwards, trust me. ♡ " (: i trust you. & that night, she told me about this friend who waited for this girl for six years and finally won her heart over which gave me alot to think about. Maybe it just takes some people a little longer to realise the right one has always been beside him...if i truly love someone, whats wrong with waiting for him instead of running away all the time so i wont hurt myself any further. Love is a risk worth taking isnt it? Wednesday, September 15, 2010 i miss you so much i would go anywhere just to have one more look of you. i really regret giving up on you when i knew so well your worth every minute waiting for. i wish i can erase whatever happened tt day and start afresh with you again. i was such a fool & now your gone... the worse feeling is seeing that yr gone but still leavin traces everywhere so i would feel awful everytime. |
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le profile
 twentytwo year old surviving designer residing in the very tiny red dot. I love my dad. I love my mum. I love my sisters. I love exploring new places to chill. just some old stuffs i used to do- ModelMayhem . Flickr skinnyshortcake@gmail.com yearns
- Carrie Bradshaw On a side note
i imagine alot. and fantasize. i'm the only one who laughs at my own jokes. i am almost blind without contacts or glasses. i cry easily. i have no piercings, not even ear hole, cause i'm afraid of pain. i love sad songs. i have a thing for fair skin & red lips. i like guys, i love men. i love children but they are not part of my future plans. i cant cook. i love guys who can cook. i love being tipsy. i do weird stuffs when i'm drunk. i love having friends but i'm not sociable enough to make one. i dont like chocolates and i'm not a fan of bears, but i am indeed a women. i dislike kissing. i love hugging. i am very particular about saliva and hate sharing drinks or food. i have about a million favorite songs. i am a perfectionist when it comes to school work. my english aint perfect but i cant stand it when i spot mistakes in people's bad english. i have a phobia of MY birthdays. sighing makes me feel better. i am very observant about people. i have very good memory about the small details in life. i am extremely not photogenic. i love attention. i am socially awkward. i am allergic to mozzie bites. i have a phobia of mozzies. i love holding on to people's arms when i walk. now playing
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